Wednesday, October 22, 2014

mostly me, by penelope: eating spaghetti

Marcy is alarmed

Marcy and Penelope Kitten are hanging out in the bedroom. Marcy is napping when all of a sudden she bolts awake.

Marcy:  What are you doing, Penelope?

penelope kitten:  eating.

Marcy:  What are you eating? OMG. Are you eating string?!

penelope kitten:  no. spaghetti

Marcy:  That's not spaghetti. That's STRING! You can't eat string! You'll die!

Marcy starts yelling for Cynthia. Penelope Kitten chews faster.

Marcy:  Cindy! Cindy! Cindy!

Cynthia rushes in. Marcy points to Penelope Kitten.

Marcy:  Look!

Cynthia looks at Penelope Kitten and starts screaming.

Cynthia:  What are you doing, Penelope? Oh no!

Cynthia grabs the piece of string Penelope is chewing on and about 3 inches emerge from her mouth.

penelope kitten:  what? i'm eating spaghetti.

Cynthia (still kind of screaming):  That's string, Penelope. Cats can't eat string because it will get wrapped around their intestines. And if that happens you'll need surgery or... or...

Cynthia starts to cry.

penelope kitten

penelope kitten:  gasp.

Cynthia:  Where did you find this? I never leave string out for this very reason. Oh no no no no no nooooo.  How could I be so careless. Oh no.

Marcy:  It's from that badge you had around your neck.

Cynthia looks at the badge with the decimated string and figures out that Penelope Kitten ate about 6 inches. Which is bad but not so bad that she needs to go to the vet for X-rays. Also, the string appeared to be cotton and was very chewed up. Almost in pieces.

Cynthia stops crying and switches into high gear.

Cynthia:  Here's what we do, Penelope.

  • I added olive oil to your wet food. Eat it.
  • I'll put some white petroleum jelly on your paws so you lick it off. The olive oil and vaseline will help coat the string so it passes easily. (hairball remedy will also work)
  • Then, eat some pumpkin which will form a "pillow' around the string so it won't get caught on your insides. 
  • If we see the string come out either end we will be sure to NOT pull on it since that could cause serious damage. (cut off the string instead)
  • Then, we watch you like a hawk for the next 72 hours. If there's any change in your behavior or energy level we will immediately go to the vet for X-rays.

penelope kitten (unhappily):  okay. but i don't like jelly.

penelope kitten

penelope kitten:  i like spaghetti.

Cynthia watches Penelope Kitten for the next three days and sure enough, over those three days, Penelope Kitten coughs up and poops out a couple inches of sting at a time.

Penelope Kitten never felt the effects of eating string but Cynthia spent the three days feeling like the worst pet parent on the planet and looking like this.

artwork by Franco Matticchio, Pat pat

Marcy:  It's okay, Cindy. We're all stupid and careless every once in a while.

Penelope Kitten obliviously and happily bops around the house.

penelope kitten:  i'm fine. i feel great. let's mambo. squeak.

source unknown

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Easy Peasy Cat Halloween Makeup

source unknown

Cynthia:  I am just not a Halloween person. I get sleepy and annoyed if I have to come up with a costume.

Marcy:  Welcome to my world, Cindy.

Cynthia:  Yeah, you're always sleepy and annoyed. But I'm not. Usually. It's just that Halloween in Los Angeles is always such a big. competitive. deal.  that I get defeated before I even start. It's daunting. People go all out with their creations. And no matter where you work, you're always required to dress up or risk getting labeled ... a Party Pooper.

Marcy:  You humans certainly do follow a herd mentality. You must be related to dogs. Or chickens. Why don't you go as a chicken?

Cynthia:  Usually I throw on an orange shirt, apply green eyeshadow to my eyes and nose, and call myself a pumpkin. Or an orange. Depending on the shade of orange I'm wearing that year.

Marcy:  That's pathetic, Cindy.

Cynthia:  I know.  So this year I am going as... you.

Marcy:  As a cat?! Well, at least you'll be on brand and on trend. Even though it's kind of obvious. And lazy.

Cynthia:  I found some great photos and tutorials of easy to apply cat makeup. It's going to be so simple!  But - it'll look like I made an effort! Check 'em out.

Photo: Frank Rainer for

Catherine Q. O'Neill for
Allure Magazine

source unknown


source unknown

source unknown

Cynthia: Here's a look that's a tad more complicated but still doable by Julia Graf, aka MissChievous.

Julia Graf

Cynthia:  And you have to check out adorable teen, Ms. Ellen Melon's, cat makeup and costume tutorial. As she says -  after applying the makeup - just add black clothing and some cat ears and you're done!

Cynthia:  Isn't this the best idea ever?!

Marcy:  No.

Cynthia:  No?

Marcy:  It's catist.

Cynthia:  No it's not.

Marcy:  Yes it is.

Cynthia:  No. It's not.

Marcy:  Yeah... well... if you're going to dress as a cat for Halloween, then I'm going as a human.

Cynthia:  Fine.

Marcy:  Fine. All I'll need is a pair of eyeglasses, some skinny jeans, an iPhone for texting, and a Starbucks coffee. Now that's a scary Halloween costume.

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Charming Adorable Trick-or-Treaters

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Thursday, October 16, 2014

National Feral Cat Day (2014)

Cynthia:  Happy Feral Cat Day!

Marcy:  Didn't we just do this last year?

Cynthia:  Yes. Every year on October 16th we recognize feral cats and society's efforts to help them.

Marcy:  Why would you help cats that can't help themselves?

Cynthia:  That's precisely why we do help them, Marcy. It's not their fault they are living on the streets. In fact, you would have been a feral cat if someone didn't help you and your two brothers.

Marcy:  Gasp.

source unknown

Cynthia:  This year's theme focuses on TNR which stands for Trap/Neuter/Return. Cats are humanely trapped, sterilized/vaccinated, and then returned to the area where they live.

TNR is the best, most effective, and humane way to reduce the stray cat problem. Once the cats stop reproducing, the colony gradually reduces through natural attrition until there are no more.

Marcy:  I thought if one cat dies then another stray cat comes in to take its place.

Cynthia:  Sometimes this happens but most often it does not. Two colonies I TNR'd and am able to monitor have not had this happen. One colony of nine cats is now down to two over a six year period and another colony of five cats is down to four over a two year period.

Marcy:  You're seeing other cats behind my back?

Cynthia:  The resources out there for helping these cats are growing and growing. So if you see stray cats and kittens in your neighborhood and want to help them, simply do a Google search of cat rescues or TNR in your area. I bet you'll find several groups that can help solve the problem.

source unknown

Marcy raises her Friskies can. Cynthia raises her martini glass.

Marcy and Cynthia:  Happy National Feral Cat Day!

Marcy:  And big slurpy kitty kisses to all those compassionate people helping to alleviate the suffering of society's neglected and abandoned feline friends.

*You Might Also Like:

The (50 Second) Scoop On Feral Cats By Jackson Galaxy

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Sunday, October 12, 2014

Marcy's Nine Likes

Brooke Shaden Photography

*Introducing Marcy's and Cynthia's weekly faves of stuff around the web. (because really, there is just so. much. fun. stuff.)

1.  Men Trapped Inside Anthropologie had me LOLing for hours. Poor human men.

2.  Cindy wants to wear this dress and pretend she's in a Downton Abbey episode.

3.  Sage advice: Resident cat advises kitten on how to deal with family's new puppy.

4.  If you too have a style crush on Zooey Deschanel you will SO adore this site.

5.  Kilkenny Cat Art is ready for Halloween. Are you?

6.  This man raised $21,000 for cat rescue by collecting coins in the street.

7.  Our fave photographer, Brooke Shaden, delves into her creative process and shows you how to find your own creative inspiration in her new book, Inspiration in Photography: Training your mind to make great art a habit.

8.  Your little girl stuffed animal collection: Come to life. Cuteness overload alert!

9.  Is everyone as excited as I am that the brave and awesome Malala Yousafzai won the Nobel Peace Prize?!

Seventeen year old
Malala Yousafzai

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

My Life As A Broccoli Floret

Wrinkle eliminating,eye bag erasing, and pore minimizing done courtesy
of the Hello Camera app
yay filters!

Cynthia:  So in my ongoing quest to stave off prediabetes, Alzheimer's, and I don't know... other horrible things, I am trying my best to cut out sugar and limit (but not eliminate) my carb intake. I've found that -

Marcy:  Uh... Cindy?

Cynthia:  Yes. Marcy?

Marcy:  What did you bring into the house yesterday?

Cynthia (innocently):  What? Oh. Uhhh... That. Well, that was just a one off.

Marcy:  Ahem...

Cynthia (sheepishly):  Okay... so it was a grapefruit sparkling drink.

Marcy:  And how many grams of sugar did it contain?

Cynthia:  I don't know.

Marcy:  Ahem.

Cynthia:  Thirty-five.

Marcy:  And how many carbohydrates?

Cynthia:  Ummm... hmmmm... thirty-six? Uh. Yes. Thirty-six grams. Of carbohydrates. But, it was 100 degrees out and it tasted sooooo good and I rarely do that. I mean I have to have fun sometimes! Although the headache I got after drinking it was not fun. Sugar is a passive aggressive meany.

Marcy (patronizingly):  I just want our readers to know that even though we are talking about healthy eating we ourselves fall off the bandwagon.

Cynthia:  Fully disclosed. Okay so on to broccoli.

Marcy:  Ugh. Broccoli is a bore. Bore. Bore. Bore.

Cynthia:  Broccoli is not a bore! Just ask our dear friend, Jenni, of Gnome Lover. She has a great and easy broccoli dish she serves that even her kids love! Check it out here.

Cynthia:  And Rachel Beller's Broccoli Soup is delicious and super duper easy to make. Check that one out here.

Rachel Beller's Broccoli Soup

Cynthia:  I add large doses of turmeric, garam masala, and black pepper to make the soup even healthier (Turmeric and black pepper combined form a powerful antioxidant and anti-inflammatory agent) and spicier. Really, I just add until the whole pot turns bright yellow!

Marcy (wrinkling her nose):  I'd add a dash of Friskies Salmon Dinner to it. Then you'd get a beautiful pink color.

Cynthia (ignoring her):  Broccoli is an excellent source of fiber,vitamin c, calcium, potassium, and protein.  Plus, it's loaded with compounds that fight cancer, aging, arthritis, heart disease, as well as lowers blood pressure and blood sugar levels. Broccoli is great for skin health and eye health. I love it!

Marcy:  By the way, you know salmon is a vegetable, right? A pretty pink vegetable. With eyes.

*You Might Also Like:

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Monday, October 6, 2014

Cool Kid Taylor Swift Makes Keds, Cardigans, And Cats Trendy

Sneaky Cat Keds by Taylor Swift
Photos: Getty Images and Keds

Cynthia:  That's right, Taylor Swift has helped propel the crazy cat lady penchant for cardigans and Keds into downright covetable fashion.

What used to be the realm of 75 year old spinsters is now the domain of a 24 year old pop superstar and teenagers and twenty-somethings everywhere.

Marcy:  That's crazy.

Cynthia:  But what is even more crazy is that Keds were trendy in the late 1980's when I was a teen. They went well with our leg warmers, acid wash ankle jeans, oversize blouses and side ponytails. Oh and they had to be sparkling white. My friends and I all wore Keds. did my Gram.  And... she had been wearing them since the 1950's.

My Gram, 1942, probably not wearing Keds here
but maybe

Cynthia:  Some fashion just never dies.

Marcy:  Either that or you humans have no imagination.

Cynthia:  Or simply a love of nostalgia.

Anyways, Taylor Swift has designed the ultimate Keds shoe. A cat Keds shoe.

Sneaky Cat Keds by Taylor Swift

Cynthia:  It's called Sneaky Cat.  Get it Marcy... sneaky for sneakers... clever, hunh? Ha ha ha.

Marcy (condescendingly):  Oh you people and your wordplay. You all just crack me up.

Cynthia: I have to say... her Sneaky Cat sneaker is pretty cute. Subtle in fact. However, it's $55 which is about $40 more than I would pay for a pair of Keds tennis shoes.

I mean, really. They're Keds!

Marcy:  I bet in your day, bread was 10 cents a loaf and you had to walk 2 miles uphill in the snow to get to school.

Cynthia:  And, we used a card catalog since the internet wasn't invented yet.

Marcy:  Horrors. It's a miracle you survived.

*You Might Also Like:

Cat Shoes Reconsidered

Of Cardigans And Cat Ladies

Friday, October 3, 2014

Marcy's Pet Peeve (Round One)

Marcy marches in to the office where Cynthia is busily typing away on the computer.

Marcy (ominously):  I have a pet.

Cynthia (absently):  That's nice. Is it a moth or a bug or something?

Cynthia turns around real quick.

Cynthia (alarmed):  It's not a mouse or a bird is it?

Marcy:  No. It's a pet peeve.

Cynthia:  You're a pet peeve.

Cynthia laughs uproariously at her own joke. Marcy is not amused and swishes her tail back and forth.

Cynthia:  Sorry. What's your pet peeve?

Marcy:  Retailers selling real fur that they've labelled faux fur.

Cynthia (sighing):  It happened again?

Marcy: Yes. This time it's Kohl's. For the second time this year! This week they were selling raccoon dog fur on a parka.

Kohl's parka with raccoon dog fur
labelled as "faux fur"

Marcy:  And earlier this year it was rabbit fur on a purse. And before that it was Urban Outfitters, Century 21 Department Stores, and even Neiman Marcus. 

What gives, Cindy?  What. Gives?!

Cynthia:  I don't know. Carelessness?

Marcy:  Heartlessness is more like it. And greed. And ... and ... and... INHUMANITY. Why would they try to trick people who want fake fur into buying real fur?

Cynthia:  I don't know, Marcy. But it's in violation of the Federal Trade Commission Act to label real fur as faux fur. From what I understand, raccoon dog fur is used quite frequently as a substitute for faux fur, It's unconscionable. Not to mention underhanded. And plain mean.

Marcy (seething):  I'm so mad.

Cynthia:  So do something about it!  Click here for a link from the Humane Society of the United States asking Kohl's to adopt a fur-free policy.

Marcy:  I'll do it. And then I'm going to find those lying executives and cruel fur farm owners and [bleepity bleep] them and {bleep bleep bleep}.

Cynthia:  My sentiments exactly.

*If you're worried that your faux fur may in fact be real, click here for quick handy dandy tips to figure it out.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Moon Kitty Sweatshirt

"Moon Kitty" Lightweight Dolman Sleeved Sweatshirt

Cynthia:  I am picky about wearing cats on my clothes. I want a cat print that is cool. Interesting. Even classy. Or at least, not garish or clown like. But still ... fun!

Marcy:  And you think this sweatshirt fits the bill?

Cynthia:  Yes. I do. It's by an artsy San Francisco company called Fluffy Co. Their products are Made in the USA and they are committed to sustainability. Gosh, I love buying a home made product. It makes me feel helpful.

"Moon Kitty" Lightweight Dolman Sleeved Sweatshirt

Marcy:  By the way, sweatshirts are "in" this season.

Cynthia:  Really? How do you know that?

Marcy:  Uh... I have a fashion blog.

Cynthia:  No need for sarcasm.

Marcy:  Obviously, one of us needs to know what's trending and what's not. Congratulations on accidentally being in style. I never thought it would happen.

Cynthia (brightly):  Thank you! The sweatshirt is super soft, has a banded waist, and 3/4 length dolman sleeves. I like that the length of the sweatshirt is short as it goes great with my high waisted jeans. This is not a sloppy tee!

Marcy (purring):  I like it!

Cynthia:  Yay! You can also get this print on a T-shirt

Marcy purrs even louder.

Cynthia:  And, if cats aren't your thing -

Marcy:  Gasp! Marcy stops purring. How dare you!

Cynthia:  FluffyCo also has a birds on a bicycle print, a wild horses print, and a solar system print (which includes Pluto!). See below.

Marcy (disgusted):  Birds, Cindy? Really? Birds are for eating, not wearing.

Marcy swishes her tail back and forth still angry about Cynthia's cat comment.

Marcy:  And Pluto's not a planet.

Cynthia:  It used to be... when I was a kid.

Marcy:  You know, if you are going to turn our blog post into a sweatshirt ad you should at least let everyone know that all the proceeds from the affiliate links go to cat rescue.

Cynthia: Absolutely. As stated on my sidebar, any commission made from affiliate links goes to animal rescue!

So what do you say, Marcy? Wanna sashay with me out in the sunshine in my moon kitty sweatshirt?

Marcy:  Yeah. Let's go look for some birds on bicycles.

*You might also like:

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