Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Marcy Gets Hired As A Costume Designer! Again!




Cynthia:  Congrats, Marcy! You did such a great job costuming the last play, you got hired again!

Marcy: Oh yeah? What are the deets?

Cynthia:  You need to find costumes for a young Queen Victoria, who was quite the fashion plate in her younger years.

Queen Victoria


Cynthia:  Winston Churchill's mom, Jennie Jerome, who was considered the greatest beauty of her time.

Jennie Jerome


Cynthia:  Jennie Jerome was an American from Brooklyn, New York.  She was one of the first "Buccaneers", rich American women who went to England to marry for a title. Think of Lady Cora Crawley (Elizabeth McGovern's character) in Downton Abbey. Jennie was quite the man killer too. She was rumored to have over 200 lovers.

Marcy (impressed):  Go Jennie!

Cynthia: Also, Alexine Tinne, a very rich and very eccentric Dutch explorer, who spent most of her adult life exploring North Eastern and Central Africa. She especially wanted to discover the source of the Nile. Alexine was fearless.

Alexine Tinne


Marcy (impressed):  Go Alexine!

Cynthia:  And as for the men, we've got to outfit a young Winston Churchill, General Charles Gordon, slave trader Zubayr, and his son, Suleiman.

Marcy:  The men's costumes are never as fun. Just tell them all to wear suits and call it a day.

Cynthia:  Ummm... well... their costumes are important too. Especially since they have the larger roles.

Marcy:  Fine. So what's the budget?

Silence.

Marcy:  No budget? Again? You're doing another period piece and expect to me come up with fabulous costumes for... nothing?!

Cynthia:  You can spend $100 and I'll give you all the Friskies you can eat. Deal?

Marcy:  I need to consult my agent.

Cynthia:  I am your agent.

Marcy:  Obviously, I need a new agent.



*The show I am working on is called Getting A Head, a new play by Jeffery Atik. We are running previews at Theater Asylum Lab in Hollywood on November 14,15,16. (i'm playing Alexine!)



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Saturday, October 25, 2014

I Went To Anthropologie And All I Got Was A Tshirt


t.la Afternoon Abroad Tee for Anthropologie
Anthropologie Circle The Globe skirt, sim here and here
Trotters 'Prima' Pump


Cynthia:  So I had a two hour lunch break from jury duty last week and there was an Anthropologie within walking distance. Of course, since I was in Santa Monica, so was the beach. Which do you think I chose, Marcy?

Marcy:  Oh please. Between lunch, the beach, or Anthropologie? I think everyone here already knows where you headed.

Cynthia:  Oh.

Marcy:  So what'd you get? A flouncy skirt? A cardi festooned with rosettes? A quirky blouse in an interesting silhouette?

Cynthia:  A tshirt. Actually, two tees.

Anthropologie Essential Scoopneck
Target Mossimo Jeans, sim here and here
Dr. Scholl's Original Sandal


Marcy:  Do they have intricate dainty details? Puffy sleeves? Elegant embroidery?

Cynthia:  No. They're pretty basic but they fit nicely. And the colors are nice.

Marcy:  You went to Anthropologie - the awesome ark of "adorkable" fashion - and got ... nice tshirts?

Cynthia:  What was I supposed to do? Anthro has completely lost their mind. Everything on the floor looked like yoga wear. And 1990's ugly boho. Shapeless tunics. Horrible fabrics. Horrible prints. And oh my gosh why oh why are they still pushing skinny jeans and chinos?

Marcy:  Skinny jeans, chinos, and basic tees at ... Anthropologie?

Cynthia:  YES! Who do they think they are? The Gap? Target? ... Gasp ... Walmart?!!

Marcy:  Gasp.

Cynthia:  Exactly. So until Anthropologie returns to the land of well made, pretty, quirky, romantic clothing, I will simply style my tees with Anthro items of yore.


t.la Afternoon Abroad Tee for Anthropologie

Marcy lunges at Cynthia with her claws. Cynthia jumps away, screaming.

Cynthia:  Aaaaaackkkk.... what are you doing?

Marcy:  You said you wanted to style your tees with items of tore. Just trying to help.

Cynthia:  Yore, Marcy! Yore!

Cynthia rushes off to find the kitty nail clippers.

Marcy:  What'd I do?





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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

mostly me, by penelope: eating spaghetti


Marcy is alarmed


Marcy and Penelope Kitten are hanging out in the bedroom. Marcy is napping when all of a sudden she bolts awake.

Marcy:  What are you doing, Penelope?

penelope kitten:  eating.

Marcy:  What are you eating? OMG. Are you eating string?!

penelope kitten:  no. spaghetti

Marcy:  That's not spaghetti. That's STRING! You can't eat string! You'll die!

Marcy starts yelling for Cynthia. Penelope Kitten chews faster.

Marcy:  Cindy! Cindy! Cindy!

Cynthia rushes in. Marcy points to Penelope Kitten.

Marcy:  Look!

Cynthia looks at Penelope Kitten and starts screaming.

Cynthia:  What are you doing, Penelope? Oh no!

Cynthia grabs the piece of string Penelope is chewing on and about 3 inches emerge from her mouth.

penelope kitten:  what? i'm eating spaghetti.

Cynthia (still kind of screaming):  That's string, Penelope. Cats can't eat string because it will get wrapped around their intestines. And if that happens you'll need surgery or... or...

Cynthia starts to cry.

penelope kitten


penelope kitten:  gasp.

Cynthia:  Where did you find this? I never leave string out for this very reason. Oh no no no no no nooooo.  How could I be so careless. Oh no.

Marcy:  It's from that badge you had around your neck.

Cynthia looks at the badge with the decimated string and figures out that Penelope Kitten ate about 6 inches. Which is bad but not so bad that she needs to go to the vet for X-rays. Also, the string appeared to be cotton and was very chewed up. Almost in pieces.

Cynthia stops crying and switches into high gear.

Cynthia:  Here's what we do, Penelope.

  • I added olive oil to your wet food. Eat it.
  • I'll put some white petroleum jelly on your paws so you lick it off. The olive oil and vaseline will help coat the string so it passes easily. (hairball remedy will also work)
  • Then, eat some pumpkin which will form a "pillow' around the string so it won't get caught on your insides. 
  • If we see the string come out either end we will be sure to NOT pull on it since that could cause serious damage. (cut off the string instead)
  • Then, we watch you like a hawk for the next 72 hours. If there's any change in your behavior or energy level we will immediately go to the vet for X-rays.

penelope kitten (unhappily):  okay. but i don't like jelly.


penelope kitten

penelope kitten:  i like spaghetti.

Cynthia watches Penelope Kitten for the next three days and sure enough, over those three days, Penelope Kitten coughs up and poops out a couple inches of sting at a time.

Penelope Kitten never felt the effects of eating string but Cynthia spent the three days feeling like the worst pet parent on the planet and looking like this.


artwork by Franco Matticchio, Pat pat


Marcy:  It's okay, Cindy. We're all stupid and careless every once in a while.

Penelope Kitten obliviously and happily bops around the house.

penelope kitten:  i'm fine. i feel great. let's mambo. squeak.

source unknown

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Easy Peasy Cat Halloween Makeup


source unknown


Cynthia:  I am just not a Halloween person. I get sleepy and annoyed if I have to come up with a costume.

Marcy:  Welcome to my world, Cindy.

Cynthia:  Yeah, you're always sleepy and annoyed. But I'm not. Usually. It's just that Halloween in Los Angeles is always such a big. competitive. deal.  that I get defeated before I even start. It's daunting. People go all out with their creations. And no matter where you work, you're always required to dress up or risk getting labeled ... a Party Pooper.

Marcy:  You humans certainly do follow a herd mentality. You must be related to dogs. Or chickens. Why don't you go as a chicken?

Cynthia:  Usually I throw on an orange shirt, apply green eyeshadow to my eyes and nose, and call myself a pumpkin. Or an orange. Depending on the shade of orange I'm wearing that year.

Marcy:  That's pathetic, Cindy.

Cynthia:  I know.  So this year I am going as... you.

Marcy:  As a cat?! Well, at least you'll be on brand and on trend. Even though it's kind of obvious. And lazy.

Cynthia:  I found some great photos and tutorials of easy to apply cat makeup. It's going to be so simple!  But - it'll look like I made an effort! Check 'em out.



Photo: Frank Rainer for
RachaelRayMag.com



Catherine Q. O'Neill for
Allure Magazine


source unknown


Deea-Makeup

source unknown


source unknown


Cynthia: Here's a look that's a tad more complicated but still doable by Julia Graf, aka MissChievous.


Julia Graf



Cynthia:  And you have to check out adorable teen, Ms. Ellen Melon's, cat makeup and costume tutorial. As she says -  after applying the makeup - just add black clothing and some cat ears and you're done!




Cynthia:  Isn't this the best idea ever?!

Marcy:  No.

Cynthia:  No?

Marcy:  It's catist.

Cynthia:  No it's not.

Marcy:  Yes it is.

Cynthia:  No. It's not.

Marcy:  Yeah... well... if you're going to dress as a cat for Halloween, then I'm going as a human.

Cynthia:  Fine.

Marcy:  Fine. All I'll need is a pair of eyeglasses, some skinny jeans, an iPhone for texting, and a Starbucks coffee. Now that's a scary Halloween costume.




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Thursday, October 16, 2014

National Feral Cat Day (2014)


www.NationalFeralCatDay.org


Cynthia:  Happy Feral Cat Day!

Marcy:  Didn't we just do this last year?

Cynthia:  Yes. Every year on October 16th we recognize feral cats and society's efforts to help them.

Marcy:  Why would you help cats that can't help themselves?

Cynthia:  That's precisely why we do help them, Marcy. It's not their fault they are living on the streets. In fact, you would have been a feral cat if someone didn't help you and your two brothers.

Marcy:  Gasp.

source unknown


Cynthia:  This year's theme focuses on TNR which stands for Trap/Neuter/Return. Cats are humanely trapped, sterilized/vaccinated, and then returned to the area where they live.

TNR is the best, most effective, and humane way to reduce the stray cat problem. Once the cats stop reproducing, the colony gradually reduces through natural attrition until there are no more.

Marcy:  I thought if one cat dies then another stray cat comes in to take its place.

Cynthia:  Sometimes this happens but most often it does not. Two colonies I TNR'd and am able to monitor have not had this happen. One colony of nine cats is now down to two over a six year period and another colony of five cats is down to four over a two year period.

Marcy:  You're seeing other cats behind my back?

Cynthia:  The resources out there for helping these cats are growing and growing. So if you see stray cats and kittens in your neighborhood and want to help them, simply do a Google search of cat rescues or TNR in your area. I bet you'll find several groups that can help solve the problem.

source unknown


Marcy raises her Friskies can. Cynthia raises her martini glass.

Marcy and Cynthia:  Happy National Feral Cat Day!

Marcy:  And big slurpy kitty kisses to all those compassionate people helping to alleviate the suffering of society's neglected and abandoned feline friends.





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Sunday, October 12, 2014

Marcy's Nine Likes


Brooke Shaden Photography



*Introducing Marcy's and Cynthia's weekly faves of stuff around the web. (because really, there is just so. much. fun. stuff.)


1.  Men Trapped Inside Anthropologie had me LOLing for hours. Poor human men.

2.  Cindy wants to wear this dress and pretend she's in a Downton Abbey episode.

3.  Sage advice: Resident cat advises kitten on how to deal with family's new puppy.

4.  If you too have a style crush on Zooey Deschanel you will SO adore this site.

5.  Kilkenny Cat Art is ready for Halloween. Are you?

6.  This man raised $21,000 for cat rescue by collecting coins in the street.

7.  Our fave photographer, Brooke Shaden, delves into her creative process and shows you how to find your own creative inspiration in her new book, Inspiration in Photography: Training your mind to make great art a habit.

8.  Your little girl stuffed animal collection: Come to life. Cuteness overload alert!

9.  Is everyone as excited as I am that the brave and awesome Malala Yousafzai won the Nobel Peace Prize?!


Seventeen year old
Malala Yousafzai


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

My Life As A Broccoli Floret


Wrinkle eliminating,eye bag erasing, and pore minimizing done courtesy
of the Hello Camera app
yay filters!


Cynthia:  So in my ongoing quest to stave off prediabetes, Alzheimer's, and I don't know... other horrible things, I am trying my best to cut out sugar and limit (but not eliminate) my carb intake. I've found that -

Marcy:  Uh... Cindy?

Cynthia:  Yes. Marcy?

Marcy:  What did you bring into the house yesterday?

Cynthia (innocently):  What? Oh. Uhhh... That. Well, that was just a one off.

Marcy:  Ahem...

Cynthia (sheepishly):  Okay... so it was a grapefruit sparkling drink.





Marcy:  And how many grams of sugar did it contain?

Cynthia:  I don't know.

Marcy:  Ahem.

Cynthia:  Thirty-five.

Marcy:  And how many carbohydrates?

Cynthia:  Ummm... hmmmm... thirty-six? Uh. Yes. Thirty-six grams. Of carbohydrates. But, it was 100 degrees out and it tasted sooooo good and I rarely do that. I mean I have to have fun sometimes! Although the headache I got after drinking it was not fun. Sugar is a passive aggressive meany.

Marcy (patronizingly):  I just want our readers to know that even though we are talking about healthy eating we ourselves fall off the bandwagon.

Cynthia:  Fully disclosed. Okay so on to broccoli.

Marcy:  Ugh. Broccoli is a bore. Bore. Bore. Bore.

Cynthia:  Broccoli is not a bore! Just ask our dear friend, Jenni, of Gnome Lover. She has a great and easy broccoli dish she serves that even her kids love! Check it out here.

Cynthia:  And Rachel Beller's Broccoli Soup is delicious and super duper easy to make. Check that one out here.


Rachel Beller's Broccoli Soup


Cynthia:  I add large doses of turmeric, garam masala, and black pepper to make the soup even healthier (Turmeric and black pepper combined form a powerful antioxidant and anti-inflammatory agent) and spicier. Really, I just add until the whole pot turns bright yellow!

Marcy (wrinkling her nose):  I'd add a dash of Friskies Salmon Dinner to it. Then you'd get a beautiful pink color.

Cynthia (ignoring her):  Broccoli is an excellent source of fiber,vitamin c, calcium, potassium, and protein.  Plus, it's loaded with compounds that fight cancer, aging, arthritis, heart disease, as well as lowers blood pressure and blood sugar levels. Broccoli is great for skin health and eye health. I love it!

Marcy:  By the way, you know salmon is a vegetable, right? A pretty pink vegetable. With eyes.




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Monday, October 6, 2014

Cool Kid Taylor Swift Makes Keds, Cardigans, And Cats Trendy


Sneaky Cat Keds by Taylor Swift
Photos: Getty Images and Keds


Cynthia:  That's right, Taylor Swift has helped propel the crazy cat lady penchant for cardigans and Keds into downright covetable fashion.

What used to be the realm of 75 year old spinsters is now the domain of a 24 year old pop superstar and teenagers and twenty-somethings everywhere.

Marcy:  That's crazy.

Cynthia:  But what is even more crazy is that Keds were trendy in the late 1980's when I was a teen. They went well with our leg warmers, acid wash ankle jeans, oversize blouses and side ponytails. Oh and they had to be sparkling white. My friends and I all wore Keds.

And...so did my Gram.  And... she had been wearing them since the 1950's.


My Gram, 1942, probably not wearing Keds here
but maybe


Cynthia:  Some fashion just never dies.

Marcy:  Either that or you humans have no imagination.

Cynthia:  Or simply a love of nostalgia.

Anyways, Taylor Swift has designed the ultimate Keds shoe. A cat Keds shoe.


Sneaky Cat Keds by Taylor Swift


Cynthia:  It's called Sneaky Cat.  Get it Marcy... sneaky for sneakers... clever, hunh? Ha ha ha.

Marcy (condescendingly):  Oh you people and your wordplay. You all just crack me up.

Cynthia: I have to say... her Sneaky Cat sneaker is pretty cute. Subtle in fact. However, it's $55 which is about $40 more than I would pay for a pair of Keds tennis shoes.

I mean, really. They're Keds!

Marcy:  I bet in your day, bread was 10 cents a loaf and you had to walk 2 miles uphill in the snow to get to school.

Cynthia:  And, we used a card catalog since the internet wasn't invented yet.

Marcy:  Horrors. It's a miracle you survived.





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